The Uncommon Man Project

EP12: Redefining Reality: How Your Inner World Shapes Your Outer Experience

• Episode 12

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Welcome to another transformative episode of The Uncommon Man Project. Today, hosts Harry Orr and Nicholas tackle a profound yet practical topic: how your internal perception shapes your external reality. This episode is for you if you've ever felt stuck, overwhelmed, or like the universe is working against you.

Harry starts by sharing his own struggles with stress and a negative outlook on life, explaining how this mindset attracted more negativity. Nicholas expands on this by introducing the concept of vibrational frequency, showing how our internal state dictates our external experiences. Through relatable analogies and personal stories, they guide you towards understanding that your life is a reflection of your inner world.

You'll learn how to shift from a victim mentality to one of empowerment and how to use practical tools like the appreciation game and goal-setting to transform your life. Nicholas and Harry emphasize the power of intentional living and how small changes in your mindset can lead to significant improvements in your life.

Key Questions for Practical Action:

  1. Assess Your Default Emotional State:
    • Action: Take five minutes to sit quietly and reflect on your most common emotional state. Write it down. How does this state affect your daily life and interactions with others?
  2. Start a Daily Appreciation Practice:
    • Action: Every morning or evening, write down three things you genuinely appreciate about your life. Keep this list visible and add to it daily. Notice how your outlook changes over time.
  3. Visualize Your Desired State Daily:
    • Action: Spend five minutes each day visualizing yourself as the person you aspire to be. Imagine how you feel, act, and respond to challenges. This mental rehearsal can help align your current actions with your desired outcomes.

Call to Action:

We encourage you to take these steps seriously and start implementing them today. Shifting your mindset and reality is a journey, but with consistent effort, you will see profound changes. Share your progress with us 


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Harry Orr: Welcome to another episode of the uncommon man project guys today you are with myself Harry and Nicholas and we're going to dive deep into your perception and the world around how we view ourselves and our experience in our reality. And then how that is reflected back to us in our interactions. Our experiences not just from a mindset and a perspective standpoint but also from an energetical in a vibrational standpoint. So we're going to go a little bit into the word for some of you but for everybody else I hope this is help because I know I've definitely been in place before where I felt very stressed. I felt very low in terms of the way that I'm viewing the world like everything is a challenge. Everything is why again, are you kidding me? And naturally when you have that kind of viewpoint, the saying that gets lost around is what bad things come into it, right? So you start looking for that next thing that's going to throw you of course.

00:10:00

Harry Orr: To be f*** again on you this would happen and played that victim mentality and that's not helpful. It only feeds that energetical situation and the universe naturally kind of gives you what I know. You've got a strong viewport on this man. So, where do you say what's your perspective experience in this space?

Nick Vonpitt: so I'm gonna start off with One of the big insights that occurred to me when?

Nick Vonpitt: Shifting my perspective around reality and just how everything is put together. So, if you're not familiar with this idea that everything is vibrational and everything is frequency. That's fine. So we'll expand this from a different space. So I want to share this statement with you a hundred percent of your experience of life is Created from inside of you

Nick Vonpitt: a good way to give you an idea on how this would look. And consider this example, so you've got a kid. Screaming in their bedroom and you're the parent you run in you think your child's in danger and then you find that they are just screaming about nothing and you look and they said there's a monster at the end of the bed and you look around and you don't see a monster and obviously you feel a sense of relief and why you imagining that there is a monster at the end of your bed. And then you turn around and you look and one of the corners of the room and you might find a toy and there's a shadow and it could be mistaken as a monster or something that could instill fear within the child.

Nick Vonpitt: And you can look at that and maybe for a moment you might be taken aback, but then you'll probably more inclined to realize that hey, this is just a shadow. the thing about this is once you see it for what it is that there is just this idea or this assumption and this outside experience. The monster ends up transforming and disappearing completely. It just becomes a shadow. It's not what you or they may have thought it to be. So essentially whether you may look at monsters that we face in our lives that maybe could be money or could be our relationship or whatever other issues that arise within us.

Nick Vonpitt: That the same is true for the experience that we have inside the more that we understand this idea that everything that is experienced on the external.

Harry Orr: Yeah, that's a much deeper way of explaining it the note without but I 100% agreement the way that you think's is entirely up to us based on you…

Nick Vonpitt: Comes from the projection of our internal landscape the easier it gets for us to kind of cut through the fat and…

Harry Orr: when we go into NLP our model of the world our experiences and all that stuff. Right and I heard someone talking about…

Nick Vonpitt: you…

Harry Orr: but the meaning right,…

Nick Vonpitt: Notice that most of these things are just ideas and…

Harry Orr: we give meaning to things and…

Nick Vonpitt: assumptions. They're unnecessarily true.

Harry Orr: no don't give meaning to certain things in life.

Nick Vonpitt: If that makes sense.

Harry Orr: And it's funny how just like that shadow. It only has that meaning of being something that's worth being afraid of and running away from or not. Because of the meaning that we give it given it it hasn't actually changed the thing itself and whether that thing itself is a person is a job as a situation or just the Shadow or the monster. It's only causing that emotional response within us because of that meaning and consequently that power. That we've given right?

00:15:00

Nick Vonpitt: That's essentially it and I think its the Is where we get to assign meaning to everything that we do and it's funny. I had a conversation with a couple of the guys thing goes this week on one of the Monday calls and it was around assigning meaning to your experience and looking at what we discussing here. that meaning comes with choice

Nick Vonpitt: You have to make a choice To create value or to give something that charge so you can look at someone that you wake up next to you every single day and you can have a positive association with said person. They can either be a great person or they can be that monster ignorant them and resent yourself and you're projecting something inside of you onto this person. And you will blame them until you're blue in the face or maybe the state of your life or why you feel that way and you'll find all the faults and all the things that could be wrong within your life or their life, etc. Etc. but essentially when we do live from an outside input in perspective

Nick Vonpitt: Everything is a monster. Everyone else is at fault. Everyone else is the problem.

Nick Vonpitt: Because you don't see yourself. Because you're not recognizing that you're actually the one choosing an associate the meaning through the projections that you having and all these people. And in turn one of the fundamental things that you talk about a lot as well is accountability. You cannot take accountability if you living from the outside in it's impossible. You have to start looking at yourself first to take stock of. and then outside should start to sort itself out you start to recognize. thats That's your reality. This is mine and then you can start seeing and getting curious around all these different, spaces and places where you've limited your expression because you now have an NLP a belief.

Nick Vonpitt: an idea an assumption that you have added meaning and Associated an emotion and you have fixed an idea that's like an endpoint of how this has to look this can only be experienced and seen it must be this way because of x y and z

Harry Orr: Filter and then we fall into that trap of making all these assumptions that…

Nick Vonpitt: it is that true.

Harry Orr: if we're in that state.

Harry Orr: Prove that we were right that the world happens to us. And for me everybody else's to blame and we get stuck in that lower vibration with that victim would mentality and it kind of starts to feed itself. Because despite us consciously saying, I don't want bad things to happen to me. I want better than this. I want all these things we have these preconceived notions and beliefs about ourselves that maybe we're not worthy that we're just unlucky or where all these things and then we like to the end of the day be able to say see on you it wouldn't work out. I never get a break. I never get the job. I never get the girl. I never get to do these things and go down that kind of around. But it's because when you're looking for those things.

Harry Orr: They will present themselves, right if you're constantly looking for things not to work out if you're looking for those stresses or those challenges or reasons, why not to do anything then that's exactly what you're going to pay attract, but also And so whilst is incredibly difficult when you're in that state when you can start to flip that and look for that silver lining in the cloud look for the opportunity in this look for a way to be grateful thankful for that test. though Alex will Mosey has a brilliant frame around this. That's like if you want to create a human that you wanted to make tough resilient smart strong, all those things. How would you give them that trade?

00:20:00

Harry Orr: You put them in circumstances that force them to be disciplined. You would put them in circumstances that awesome too and that resilience to and that strength and those tracks and so that's one of my favorite ways when I'm in that space of this is testing me. I really don't feel like this test right f****** day out…

Nick Vonpitt: I think what's also really helpful is just also understanding,…

Harry Orr: but this is testing me okay, what did I say that I wanted that by pushing through this and…

Nick Vonpitt: the Spectrum on if you were to look at let's say an emotional scale.

Harry Orr: changing the way that I handle this. I will start to become lighthouse in the store that calm stoiced that mental resilience, start to earn being the keyword not given all of those traits and become that man.

Harry Orr: that frame has helped me investibly in shifting that. But what do you use to yourself and further people in getting out of that level vibrational stressed and victim's day?

Nick Vonpitt: And just seeing So normally where the lowest point that you'll be in is essentially fear, which could be surrounded by let's say grief or desperation or despair or sense of powerlessness and then you kind of move up towards hatred and then revenge and anger and then eventually to overwhelm pessimism boredom and then you start getting to the top echelons as you start moving through that scale which would be contentment hopefulness optimism something around enthusiasm or just happiness passion. And then the top one is something around Joy empowerment a sense of Freedom love or just general overall appreciation for life. So I take it from a slightly different perspective which I look at where you're at emotionally and essentially an emotion is energy in motion, which means there's a vibration

Nick Vonpitt: So if you're talking about where you are on the scale vibration, all you're doing is you're taking the emotion comparing it to where you are and that's gonna be like, I have an idea of where I'm sitting. So then the question is How do I go from? feeling like I'm completely disempowered or I'm fearful or I'm outside in space and everything is happening to me and not for me.

Nick Vonpitt: there's a couple of things that I've been able to Pick up over the years and one of them. Is this the appreciation game and I believe it's From Abraham Hicks, so she's like a channel. She's very much Law of Attraction manifestation and

Nick Vonpitt: when you start diving into appreciation I find that it is essentially to worry itself. There's no room for worry and stress it the two emotions. Cannot coexist at the same time. It's impossible. Sit down and you can try this for yourself right now. Take a moment. You might be stressed about maybe money or your relationship or maybe you've got a erectile dysfunction. I don't know what your life looks like right now,…

Harry Orr: How would you differentiate between appreciation and…

Nick Vonpitt: but just whatever it is. Look at something that you can appreciate even…

Harry Orr: gratitude? or you would

Nick Vonpitt: though that's not sitting at the back your head. What can you appreciate? Maybe it's the breath in your body right now the fact that you're alive. Just appreciate the fact that you're able to breathe that your body is still working.

Nick Vonpitt: but you're able to yeah.

Harry Orr: I feel like appreciation would resonate with more people it's easier to know…

Nick Vonpitt: I'd say they very very close my friend.

Harry Orr: what appreciation feels like…

Nick Vonpitt: I'd say they're very very close.

Harry Orr: where is sellers is practice gratitude be grateful I know the word…

Nick Vonpitt: I'm sure there's more than Nuance but I've never really looked at the difference. I'd say maybe gratitude is have gratitude.

Harry Orr: but I don't really have a feeling that connects with that when you say that…

Nick Vonpitt: It feels more like a noun appreciation feels like a practice.

Harry Orr: but when you say appreciate stuff like sure did I appreciate it all the…

Harry Orr: And you say I appreciate you to people more right?

Nick Vonpitt: that's the sense

Nick Vonpitt: that's true. Yes, yes.

Nick Vonpitt: so Yes, and I think maybe it's verbalized a little bit more conveniently for men specifically because I find that the Gratitude thing is, the ladies are really good at going and doing their gratitude journaling. But what about just Recognizing and appreciating the things that are working for you in your life. And there's a lot it's just we don't look at it because we so stuck in this external landscape of success and money and not saying any of these things are bad, but when it's stemming from a space like those things have to validate you and your life experience and you've given your power to that.

00:25:00

Nick Vonpitt: then what type of life are you living? That's what it comes down to where's the meaning associated in your life? What's the feeling of your life and I can tell you it feels like s*** because I've been there. I've lived Where everything outside and he had to validate who I was in my experience and this identity and I suppose we can even touch on this idea of that person that egoic self or version of that had to be validated through the conversations the social media the bank account the working exceptionally hard putting 20 hour days, this has to work versus me just flipping that script So with what you've said, there's I think for pragmatism. It really is helpful to build that environment into have those practices in place because here's the thing none of this. Woo stuff works.

Nick Vonpitt: Unless there's an action that's followed by it or with it. So if you are now diving into appreciation, you can't feel like I appreciate no you need to live it. There's an action you sitting there and let's say doing the practice that let's say Alex hormozy suggested if you're going through that process Adding meaning and associating a different charge to the actions that you are taking now, the experience becomes very different. It's not that you will experiencing it you're creating the experience you automatically move from the outside to the inside. out

Nick Vonpitt: So your projecting that there's way more power within that…

Harry Orr: Yeah, a hundred percent and…

Nick Vonpitt: it's coming from you. You're not expecting your marketing to make you rich.

Harry Orr: for a lot of the guys that maybe aren't quite resonating with that vibration or…

Nick Vonpitt: No, you're making the marketing and how you're making the marketing means that the marketing is going to do something different and…

Harry Orr: side of things I guess another way to conceptualize this is in terms of those results like you just said about focusing on you…

Nick Vonpitt: maybe Those ads will do better or the way that you show up will have a different feeling to it.

Harry Orr: I'll be successful or…

Nick Vonpitt: If that makes sense.

Harry Orr: I'll be happy or whatever it is when I achieve these things instead of we've got the order all wrong instead of focusing on you're worth being that thing and achieving that stuff focus on who you need to become in order to earn those things like who do I need to be it is capable of achieving those kind of results me that is capable of having that kind of life because then that's still the same process of inside who do I need to come who am I and then there's capable of that same time thing the energy and energy and vibrational all inside what am I resonating with right now one of my kind of putting out in terms of that energy and as you said make sure that you're actually Feeling that not just half-assing some mantras in the mirror because we all know that's a lot of trash so you actually need to be feeling something not just using words.

Nick Vonpitt: that's the key and that's where guys f*** this up completely. So it's like I'm this person great. But is there any feeling behind it? Why do they feel that way? What drives that person? what is the experience of being not doing the person you've got to be the person being means embodying you need to understand the emotions that are being held like what is the state? What is the vibrational state? So where you on that Spectrum when you are that version of You Are you still stuck in commitment or feet or anger or are you in a space of appreciation and joy and possibility? what is the state that you're holding? Just in NLP you want to be in a resourceful State essentially. It's the same principle.

Nick Vonpitt: Except we're not complicating it and that's accessible to anyone. You might then say Nick and Harry. This is fairly* hard. How do I just make myself feel better? through choice and through practice that's it. Remember you've built up a default emotional state So you're neurologically and from a somatic level you've patent yourself to express and feel in a specific way more often than not that's your default state. It's a day-to-day practice in choosing who you wish to be and possibly a moment to Practice have write a couple of notes here and there I'm choosing to express more appreciation and joy for the people around me. I'm choosing to appreciate XYZ. My intention is notice. my intention is your focusing on yourself.

00:30:00

Nick Vonpitt: Shifting that state and then notice how everything shifts around you and if you this sounds like a load of b* as mate on all levels. Everyone that has physical or monetary success in any way shape or form. They understand these principles. Intuitively, they might not even verbalize it but this is what they've done.

Harry Orr: Yeah, I don't think I've ever heard a successful person in any of those fields talk about…

Nick Vonpitt: They've been Relentless in that journey of becoming and being that version and…

Harry Orr: how their mindset the entire time was.

Nick Vonpitt: so we touch on this idea of law of attraction.

Harry Orr: I'm not good enough. I'm never going to make it like I'm not worth that.

Nick Vonpitt: It's just a principle.

Harry Orr: I'm any of these things like sure some of that may have been fuel in the initiative initial phase to get started…

Nick Vonpitt: It has to happen.

Harry Orr: but the meaning the bigger mindset was I'm gonna prove these people wrong. I'm going to see succeed no matter work. I'm going to outwork everybody. I'm going to become this person. I'm gonna see I'm going to do this thing no matter what gets in my way and universe get the f*** out of the way.

Nick Vonpitt: The universe is going to move with you and with that there's the Nuance to that because each of those people have created their own realities. So they've created all the principles and the laws in between that coincide within this idea of the universal laws that you have through these hermetic principles.

Harry Orr: yeah.

Nick Vonpitt: So I'll break that down just quickly. So you might have the belief that I have to work hard to make money. which most people have b******* You don't have to work hard. but That's true for you. It's not true for me. I don't have to work to the same degree to achieve the same level of success. Exactly what I meant there. And the reason why I'm saying that and it's probably going to trigger a few people. It's like there are people out there. No, you don't. That are just in that state of abundance and…

Nick Vonpitt: 

Nick Vonpitt: Is there effort that's flow and… Hell, yes. ease and they have chosen the rules. They just allow things to flow into this space because they have governed those filters that we talk about in NLP. That's why for someone. Let's say Alexander notes. He loves working. That's his thing. that's who he is that to hustle like that man. I love that for me to hustle like that. I can't do that. That's not how I'm created. I want to be creative. I want to experience what I'm doing from a different perspective and who's to say that I'm right or he's right. you're entitled to choosing, your pain and gains and how you wish to express yourself in the world. And if there's anything that you can take out of this entire conversation today is that you can literally choose those filters on how you wish to do this. it doesn't have to be a difficult process to embody this version of But like he also says he doesn't just take action on the small things. He looks for the things that have the biggest Roi filter that out and then take a Massive Action behind that then f*** around to the fluff. So it's challenged. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Yes, yes.

Nick Vonpitt: 

Nick Vonpitt: 

Nick Vonpitt: 

Nick Vonpitt: exactly Harry, and I think that's the point that we want to drive home here just to everyone that's listening today is you have the ability to question. Everything within your life right now. And to turn it upside down and to flip it and to get really really curious. And if I were to leave.

Nick Vonpitt: with a practice it would be two or three steps in the first one would take a moment now and just even after this podcast and go Google. What does the emotional scale look what would that typically look like? And you might get 20 30 emotions there. And feel into your system where you feel like your default status. So we're using. And depending on where you're sitting. I want you then to then look at that emotion and then look at your life.

00:35:00

Nick Vonpitt: And you're probably living from that space and it may be a very disempowered space. So ask yourself the question. what can I do to then move myself into where I choose maybe love or empowerment or whatever the case may be? and look at the identity that you've touched on as well Harry what is that person have to look like How do they express themselves Look at that get curious about that. And then from that point of view when you've become that person that feels that way…

Harry Orr: exactly, right like I say…

Nick Vonpitt: what are their dreams what is possible for them?

Harry Orr: because when you look at some of those beliefs and…

Harry Orr: then ask them yourself, does that serve me because work ethic…

Nick Vonpitt: And then you can start setting some goals and…

Nick Vonpitt: then you can start looking at things that you want to strive towards…

Harry Orr: what a for sure is great. But if you are valuing hard work and…

Nick Vonpitt: but then you have to choose to be that person because they're the ones that believe it that's going to be possible and…

Harry Orr: that work etc, working long hours grinding yourself into the dirt…

Nick Vonpitt: you can do that now and…

Harry Orr: because that's…

Nick Vonpitt: that's a practice you can do every single day.

Harry Orr: what you value most you're going to find ways to instill that stress and…

Nick Vonpitt: If you can do that diligently, you will change your life. You will change your relationship. You will change your business.

Harry Orr: feel that pressure and…

Nick Vonpitt: You will change how you look…

Harry Orr: work yourself to death even when it's not necessary.

Nick Vonpitt: how you feel how you express and…

Nick Vonpitt: how you go through your day today.

Harry Orr: I had

Harry Orr: I had a coin.

Harry Orr: That struck tired that level of stress that level of overwhelmed to success to making money and when he didn't feel that he felt something was wrong. So he could not relax knowing that he was still going to make money. He was still gonna be successful. He's gonna do all these things because he had tied that emotional connection and that work ethic to that success. So for him if he wasn't feeling like that he was gonna fight as a father as a business owner as a dad. And so that belief of I need to work hard to be successful was not serving you.

Nick Vonpitt: That's really. Alignment and then you come into alignment. The cursive maybe diving into the law of manifestation.

Harry Orr: That's amazing. That's the messenger. I know that Consciousness has changed the way that I feel and move through my day, even though nothing from the outside if you're looking at my life nothing is really changed. But the way that I feel respond cable situations from vibrating at that high level from that kind of standpoint, but just the way that I see things bringing that into it has changed massively. And so for me a practical application for this for everyone else is a bit more logical brain a little bit more practical. I literally set an alarm on my Apple watch to vibrate at random times throughout the day and that's my patent interrupt. Of am I showing up and my vibrating at the state that I want to?

Harry Orr: And my showing up as that father as a business as a man that I would have beef coming from that place or have I gone back into my old default patterns of being angry being reactive being in that Lower State and if I'm in that state and that pattern interrupt goes off. awesome Go for a run go jump in the ice bath. Go smack yourself in the face jump up do something to Correct realize yourself. And then go through the day and those things have been that consciousness

00:40:00

Harry Orr: Go, okay, I will wrap it up there. Thank you very much for listening guys. As always. I hope you guys actually take action on this. We don't create these podcasts just to talk s*** and hope it's entertaining for you guys. We want you to actually take action on some of this stuff that you've heard. So if you take action or when you take action, I should say drop a comment on this or share it with someone that in that space is trying to break through that you feel would really benefit from this you can share the podcast you can leave a review. You can reach out to us on Facebook the uncommon man project. We would love to hear from you and see how this is change your life and your day today with that wrap it up here and I'll see you guys in the next episode.