The Uncommon Man Project

EP05: Unlocking Your Potential: Navigating Life's Roadblocks with the Uncommon Man

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Welcome to another empowering episode, where we delve deep into what holds many back from achieving their fullest potential in business, personal finance, health, and relationships. This journey is not just about overcoming obstacles; it's about discovering the practical steps you can take to dismantle the unseen barriers that hinder progress.

Our exploration reveals a crucial insight: understanding what to do is vastly different from doing what you know. This gap, often filled with fear, judgment, and self-doubt, becomes the unseen saboteur of potential. The conversation illuminates the importance of starting small—embracing progression over perfection and celebrating each step forward as a victory in its own right.

We also challenge you to examine the identities constructed around your work ethic and achievements. By reframing your self-perception, you uncover the power to redefine success on your terms, focusing on fulfillment and quality over external accolades.

This episode is crafted not just to inspire but to equip you with the tools to start reshaping success across all facets of your life. Adopting a mindset of ownership and shifting from a victim of circumstance to a creator of opportunities unlocks doors to unprecedented growth.

Actionable Questions:

  1. Identity Reflection: Take a moment to write down how you currently see yourself in the context of your biggest challenges. How does this identity help or hinder your progress towards your goals?
  2. Future Self Visualization: Envision who you need to become to overcome the roadblocks you're facing. What key attributes does this future version of yourself hold? Describe this identity in detail.
  3. Incremental Steps for Identity Shift: Identify one small but concrete action you can take this week to start embodying the traits of your future self. How will this action help you move closer to your envisioned identity?

Final Thoughts:

The Uncommon Man Project isn't just about achieving success; it's about redefining what success means to you. It's a call to action for all men to not just dream about a better future but to take tangible steps towards creating it. Let this episode be the catalyst for your transformation, as you navigate the roadblocks with c

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Remember, you’re not alone in your journey. The Uncommon Man Project is more than a podcast; it’s a movement. It’s a place for growth, learning, and transformation. Whether you're in the midst of a challenge or on the brink of a breakthrough, our community and res...

welcome legends to another Uncommon Man podcast today we are going to look at the things holding you back from achieving the results that you want and I suggest getting a pen and paper because we are going to give you practical steps that you can put in straight away in order to remove the Roblox that are often stopping people from having the success in their business that they want having their financial success in their personal life and having the success in their health and their relationships we're gonna look at all areas of our lives how we navigate them and what we need to do in order to get to the next step so what I wanna chat to you guys about today I wanna ask you Harry like we we solve a vast array of problems in our clients lives whether that be in their relationships whether that be in their health whether we help them with their business and a lot of the time it comes back to this one thing that we all know is the major problem how do you see this show up for the clients that you have and what have you been doing with them to help them with the process so one of the biggest things I see for a lot of guys is like cognitively a lot of people know what they should do like when it comes to getting better they know that what they shouldn't do they know what they roughly should do but this there's always that block for a lot of people right I know I know personally in um in in my past there's been blocks like you know that you should be doing this thing you know that you should reach out to more people you know that you should make more content like if you're trying to create a business creator presence on on social media to grow a business to grow your reach all that kind of stuff but there's that block like you know what to do so why not do it and that mindset I think for a lot of guys is I could differs for everybody some people it's the fear of kind of being judged for some people it's their fear of kind of failure or I guess just an insecurity in their own ability for some reason and for a lot of people I think if you can take that pressure off in the expectation that you should be good at what you're about to do if you haven't done it before there's like this expectation of oh I know what I need to do so I am gonna be able to start it and then just be able to do it with 100% consistency and execution and nail it okay cool I'm gonna start going to the gym five times five times a week and I'm gonna be able to be consistent on that just indefinitely nothing will get in my way like what could stop me and you know I know I've heard you ask this question before so what would stop you like what does failure look like what would get in your way and a lot of people in their motivated state be like nothing I'm so motivated nothing can stop me it's like well okay if you can't entertain the idea of failure then like you're not looking at the entire like situation here because I can guarantee you there's gonna be things that are gonna stop you from going to the gym in this example and so when I'm getting guys to look at why they're not doing these things that they know that they really should it's like unblocking a lot of those things like okay cool let's be realistic like you have to have a habit before you can improve it okay in this instance of going to the gym let's start with just doing something you know the first step of go to the gym put your fucking shoes on set your alarm do something so you start to create that cadence and then you can kind of expand on it from that perspective right so I think it anything is better than nothing and then so looking at it from that kind of frame allows people that wiggle room of okay I'm not going into this expecting to be perfect the first time around because then I I I heard Alex or Mosey talk about this the other day when it comes to like knowing when to push versus pivot in certain goals cause you know you get some people on one side which will go I was gonna go for a run but it rained so it's a sign that I'm not meant to run and like externalize that and like go down that kind of route and so what he talks about in this push verse pivot is you said you wanted to do this thing you said you were gonna go for the run go for the workout do this outbound do all this fuckin hard work and okay cool now it's time to do it and you've this thing has gotten in your way do you change course or do you fuckin push through it unless you have new information to say that what you originally set out is no longer a good idea or is not feasible you're just finding a reason not to fuckin do it so if you're waiting for the time that everything all the stars align to go and do it you probably missed the boat cause there's gonna be plenty of times when you don't feel like doing it and so if you start it with the pretense that I'm only gonna do it when I feel like it or when it's convenient that then insinuates it as soon as it's not convenient as soon as I don't feel like doing it as soon as there's an obstacle then I'm gonna stop doing it again and then we end up back in the same kind of place of doing it when we feel like it instead of just being disciplined and just fucking doing it I guess like the one one of the things you kind of looking at there as well is starting the process then you can actually start looking at Roblox as well like you said putting your shoes on setting alarm putting your shoes on da da da if you get to the setting the alarm and you don't get up okay cool the roadblock is you don't get up let's work on that problem okay you set your alarm you've got up you put your shoes on but you don't go to the gym okay cool there's another roadblock we can't what is the next thing that we can solve but if you never start then it's very very hard to figure out the Roblox and then if you can't that's that's if you can't compute the or imagine the what the Roblox are gonna be like from the start cause you're in that motivation state where you think nothing's gonna stop you because it's like the all or nothing kind of approach right it's either I get I get up as soon as my alarm goes off I get dressed I have my my my shake I go straight to the gym I have this epic workout have this amazing day or I sleep in binge eat do fuck all steps and just like kind of trash the day not a very constructive approach right and so like for me like for that exact same approach I like guys to be able to put it in the calendar put it in the calendar as he said identify those Roblox so then when you have that self reflection and that accountability piece alright let's identify exactly which link in the chain is broken because if you've planned it you've like you've blocked out logistically where you'll have time to make it work and it's just not getting done then okay it's a discipline issue because logistically it makes sense it's fine if you're actually doing the task but you're not getting the result then it's an execution issue right and so you can be a lot more accurate as to what you need to tweak rather than just throwing the baby out with the bath water it's like oh it doesn't fucking work well which part doesn't work there's like 1,000 different steps in actually making that happen so which part doesn't work right but we we're chatting before and um Nick quietly said how much of a Taylor Swift fan he is and uh we were talking about the song hi I don't actually know the name of it but I do know the lyrics to a part of it so I'm a you know obviously a secret of fan myself but um considering I don't have a radio on my car so I can't say it's accidentally played in my car but it's high it's me I'm the problem it's me and I'm like ha how brilliant is that in a level of awareness when we look at when we break anything down and we look okay cool well actually when we break anything down to the nuts and bolts the biggest problem is ourselves and could you share some insights in how you see people roadblocking themselves how they do it and what's what do you think's going on or what's your understanding around whether it's the unconscious or whatever it is for them that standing in the iron way for the success when when you're looking at it um many a time you want to diagnose you know all these reasons you know this is why this is the problem this is why I am the way that I am and maybe that story's been fed for many many years and now you've got enough validation to do fuck all and I think a lot of people get stuck in that and the answer is pretty simple it's just there are things that you know that you should do and shouldn't do no one even needs to tell you that innately you know when you're sitting there making the decision of convenience and ease and everywhere you look in nature everywhere outside of yourself even this effort that has to be exerted to create change to create something beautiful if a tree just took a week to grow I can guarantee you now the root system wouldn't be able to sustain it if there was a a storm if things just happen instantaneously you wouldn't you know there wouldn't be no long longevity when when all these changes are to take place like it it's just not it's just not gonna make sense um and I think many people want that quick fix just with how you know society is gone and no one's willing to really like say well like you said you've got a process that you run people through where they look at themselves now and they look at who they want to be and I'm sure you gonna dive into that a little bit later but people get are so comfortable with the story that they have right now about themselves that when they they have to question that that is probably the most painful thing cause they actually have to look at themselves and it's not necessarily that they bad people it's just they by default they're going to judge who they are and they don't want to judge themselves because that means that they're gonna have to hold themselves accountable and maybe it feels really weird so then you've got the vulnerability aspect like oh shit and maybe not the person that I I want to be and there's a lot of things reflecting that and I'd much rather take my head and shove it in the sand um I think that we have to complicate this idea of change and we make it really difficult I think that we try to take on too much and that's what I've observed even within my own life and within clients that I've worked with over the years you want to change these massive things but it really does start with that single step what is the small thing that is accessible to you where there is resistance but you have enough will and it is plausible if you were to just assert yourself a little bit more and you do that often enough there's already a change cause you've made a different decision that's a massive win look at the change don't look at the mountain that you're still busy climbing just focus on that next step and focus on that next step and if there is a Kravas if there is that roadblock eh like we work around it if you fell into it it's okay it's not that the roadblock was there on purpose it was just there and that was something you had to figure out along your journey yeah it's really interesting the Roblox like we were talking about with Harry that they show up once you start taking action it's very very hard to map out the the way without starting it's very very hard to look at everything that might possibly pop up in your way without starting you can see some things but what I see guys with who when we talk about it you know hi it's me the problem is me I'm like you don't find that out until you start challenging current situations ideologies or I call the maps of of yourself so for example um sit down and had a coffee the other day with with a with our client and is in the building trade like awesome guy massive heart really really lovely dude and we're looking at how he was showing up he was grinding really hard working really hard like everything about him just looked like it was hard and he was known as the guy who's like work really really hard grinds hard and I was like cool is that how you wanna be known and he goes yeah that's the whole past I wanted to be known as the guy who works really really hard who's always grinding who like all these things and so we had a look I was like cool where did those beliefs come from so we looked and it was quite clearly from his father his father was a grinder that's you know that's how he was seen as worthy to his dad as like oh my son's a grinder super proud of him he works really really hard so all these things started like coming to the surface and we realise that in order to get to the next level in his business he had to step out of his own way and allow or let go of an identity that he currently made for himself and so this is where the process comes in for the guy so if you have your pen and paper now this is super important because you have to start looking at the current identity you have made for yourself and it comes out when you say things it's it's not always easy to do yourself but if you're having challenges with understanding what these might be for you start checking your language when you say yeah yeah I love I love working really really hard cause I don't I like working really joyfully I like things to be as easy as possible and I love making as much impact as I can with as little little effort as I can that's my current identity at some stage it will probably no longer serve me but I need to be aware of it so it's about writing down your current self identity what are the beliefs you have how are you perceived outside how do you wanna be perceived how do you perceive yourself you write all these down the next step is is you go cool how do I want to be perceived how do I wanna perceive myself I don't wanna wanna present myself to the world so I asked this guy I said would you rather be known as the guy who works really really hard and grinds all the time or do you wanna be known as the guy who does an exceptional job everything is polished and it's just finished really really well and he's like man I'd much rather be the guy that is known as the guy who finishes the job superably well and it just looks so well finished I see what do you think if you ask all the guys that work for you what do you think they would say if you ask them the same question they said all of them will say the same thing they want to be the guys and no one's finishing something really really well it's polished and it looks really nice I'm like cool so why so looking at your two identities now that you've written down which one do you need to let go of in order to step up to the next level of yourself and the next level of your business he's like oh okay same one is it instantaneous no we still get caught in a competition with somebody else like I worked harder than you this week I did 80 hours you only did 60 yeah I got my grinder and then we go oh crap I'm competing on an identity that I no longer wanna identify with so it's high it's me I'm the problem it's me when am I gonna let go of this aspect of me so I can step into this new identity in the new story we I don't wanna say we need a story cause if you're maybe if you're meditating in a mountain you become one with everything else and that's your ability then there is no story you don't need a story to navigate the world however you like us you navigate in the world it's very very helpful to have maps and stories cause they allow you to navigate is you can either choose to have the story written for you which is normally by your parents and everything that you've just had or you can look at that write it down check out and find all the bliss that you currently got you will find a few of them I suggest finding a mentor coach or somebody who can help challenge all these things and list them all out for you so you can knock as many as you can off the list and write the new list and you can go as far as like how do they cut their hair what do they wear to work how do they speak how do they stand but you can write all these new things about your identity and everyday you can do an assessment on yourself how do they show up like this for this for this for this and you'll find life dramatically changes very very fast did did you know guys that the amount of assessments I've been doing on guys lately 86% of the guys don't have any time for introspection or reflection 86% and I'm like um it's a very few amount of people couple hundred that I've assessed and I'm like if you expand that I think it's way way higher I think it's closer to 98 96 somewhere around there like guys not dedicating any time to introspection I'm like guys will spend more time thinking about the kind of coffee that they're having or where they're putting their money compared to actually what they're thinking which is gonna give you the biggest leverage of your time so guys yes there's the tool of the two pieces of paper the story you have now and the story you have after but if you don't dedicate a bit of introspection or reflection time you just have two pieces of paper that I'm gonna do a whole lot for you so take that put it into action and see how your life dramatically starts to change you have to be willing to admit some things to yourself 1 that it's most likely that you're the problem you're probably the problem in your health you're probably the problem in your relationship you're probably problem in your business it's a very very challenging thing to face up to it's scary and it takes responsibility and a lot of us don't wanna take that especially the common man the common man doesn't wanna live in there that's why this is for the uncommon man so I hope that's been really helpful and just from your guys perspective is there anything else you guys would add to that I'm sure a lot of the guys have heard um of like say Jocko willing extreme ownership um those kind of guys which talk about taking ownership for everything in your life and for a lot of people yes it can be scary or intimidating or there's that that hesitation yeah but but but but they did this to me and it's their fault and whatever else like okay cool story in taking that extreme ownership I if you can reframe that to from being scary and intimidating and almost like a a negative to empower because like play it out okay say it is somebody else's fault whether it's your partner or your parents or the government or whoever else this is other entity that means that you have zero control over the outcome over change because like and then so why stress if you can't do if you're if you can't accept responsibility then they can dictate what happens to you so don't stress cause it's out of your control right so stress less or on the flip side it's all your fault which means it's all your responsibility to do something about it so if you don't like it fuckin change it which gives you power right and so I don't know about you but I wanna have power about oh we can go into whether free will or is like um actually free will or if it's actually determined but that's a long conversation but for the hypothetical of this one let's just say that you do have the power to choose what you like enjoy the power my friend nice nice I think it's that that notion of you you can either be this leaf being blown around in the wind and blame the wind where you go and if you land on on a house or roof or you land in a puddle or you just carry on blowing you're just a leaf and it's the wind's fault or you can choose to accept that you can also be the wind that's also what is available for you and you can move through whatever and you have the capacity for change if you can perceive something it means it's available to you just like that whole that saying of like if you dream it you can achieve it if you can see it if you can see that there's a an inkling if there's a desire you need to step into that you need to look at why that's actually showing up and being reflected in your space it's not there to just ignore and you know grab a bottle or go and associate it's there because you're being guided to actually take an action because life isn't trying to take life away from you it's trying to expand through you and if you're not willing to open yourself to expand into your life and into life then really the question I want to leave you with is what are you doing what is the point I'm busy being the problem oh that's good thank you so much guys and to to those listening if you're not already over in the group I'll make sure there's a link here for it you can come over it's completely free you can interact with myself or any other coaches over there also neck runs Manifestation Mondays which is completely free and accessible to everybody inside that group it's a phenomenal way to start transforming your life and there's just a stack of resources in there from controlling your nervous system and losing weight to these some of these unconscious belief systems that we can change to how you can access your summit faster all of these things are inside our free Facebook group and I'll drop the link in the podcast thanks so much for listening love having you here and please if you found this helpful please share far and wide all we wanna do is men live uncommon lives we believe that if we have stronger men we will have stronger communities and that will fix a lot of the challenges guarantee you are seeing in the world and certainly what we are noticing as well big love to you all thank you very much