The Uncommon Man Project

EP02: The Quest for Fulfillment: Aligning Values with Action

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Welcome to another thought-provoking episode of the "Uncommon Man Project," where we dive deep into the realms of purpose, values, and the quest for a fulfilling life beyond the surface level of success. In today's discussion with our remarkable coaches, Nick and Josh, we unravel the complexities of navigating life's journey with intentionality and authenticity. Our conversation sheds light on the pitfalls of complacency, the midlife crisis phenomenon, and the transformative power of aligning one's actions with their core values and passions.

Joshua Hamilton shares his evolutionary journey, emphasizing the fluidity of purpose and the significance of embracing change. His insights into the importance of understanding one's values as a compass for life decisions illuminate the path to self-discovery and fulfillment. Nick Vonpitt's reflections on living a principle-driven life further enrich our understanding of creating a life that resonates deeply with our authentic selves.

This episode invites listeners to contemplate the essence of their passions, the nature of true success, and the courage to live congruently with one's values. Join us as we explore the art of crafting a life that's not just about surviving but thriving with purpose and joy.

Reflection Questions:

  1. What aspects of your current lifestyle align with your core values, and where do you notice discrepancies?
  2. How do you define success for yourself, and in what ways does this definition influence your daily actions and long-term goals?
  3. Reflecting on your passions, can you identify the underlying feelings or values they bring to your life? How can you incorporate these elements into other areas of your life for greater fulfillment?

What was your biggest takeaway?

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Harry Orr: Welcome back to the uncommon man project guys in today's episode obviously with Nick and Josh the amazing humans that we have coaching here with us in today's episode. I want to pick your guys brain on. how we find our purpose and our values against one thing to have? The business have a relationship have what decent health and a lot of guys that I know I talk to it's not bad.

Harry Orr: Jobs doing all right. It's paying the bills health is not too bad. they don't have cancer. They're not about to die anytime soon and their wife hasn't left them just yet, maybe it's coming in the future but it's all right. It's not that bad. But they end up in this space of complacency of almost feeling kind of empty and then left with that. what am I doing? All this for I feel like I'm just Groundhog Day of I go to work I come home. It's this stale there's no excitement and is there more to this, some guys get to the midlife crisis and they go and start smoking meats or playing golf or ride motorcycles or have a fair or whatever whatever their flavor is, but trying to find a constructive means for their life.

Harry Orr: In the mission finding out are what they mean to them like Joshua. I'd love to hear your perspective on this to start with men have what's your journey been in finding? Your mission or your vision for your life and has it changed over time?

joshua hamilton: Yeah, in terms of change. Yes. Quite a bit. I'd say Matt massively. In fact, I think one of the things that I possibly made a mistake of and maybe do today as well this This is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life, and that's cool to have But also I'm like things change like I want The possibility of options and I think getting into that sort of mindset can be limited like this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. I've had that about coaching. I love what I do man, and I've said it many many times. I'm gonna do this for the rest of my life.

joshua hamilton: probably but I've actually stepped back from there and being like what if you don't? and for a lot of guys they thought maybe they haven't started with a vision or maybe they've had that vision and suddenly there's so much change or they've reached this summer and they're like what I do next and it's both depressive and anxiety invoking because now they no longer see the future. And they also look back at the past and why can't I feel that drive? Where's that discipline going on with my motivation gone all those things and it just comes together in this absolute spiral and this is where we talk about that crisis happening at midlife crisis. what am I going to do with my life? and I think

joshua hamilton: I think one of the things that I've been really blessed with in my life is I've had a huge array, but yeah, I went to University. I was lucky I went to University. I started education. I became a physical education mathematics teacher why did I even do that? I literally received a letter from University saying hey, you've got an opportunity to be an interview at Teachers College. I never applied for teachers course never even applied for it. My mom applied for me. I gotta teaches College classic like what and so these guys from my application. Obviously mom must have written a pretty good one back in the day. So I went down I had this interview.

joshua hamilton: It teaches College one of my first interviews you've had job interviews by the time in that age. But you're 15 16 17 and job interviews. hey mate, I used to shine shoes for a living and dry hiking boots. it doesn't take much of an interview, or you mowed lawns or the guns, whatever it was or wash dishes. So I went down to this interview. I had the interview. And at the end this day it is the best interview I've ever done in my life. I can't even remember what I said in it, but I just remember being so spot on the guy chased me out to the car here the department chase me out to the car. I'm hoping the car again Chris home and he's like look Joshua I just want to let you know that you can have a spot here. Would love to have you and I was like back my mum sees something in me about this teaching thing. This guy sees something in his teaching thing.

00:05:00

joshua hamilton: How I'm gonna go be a teacher and I go become a teacher and that was the start of my first journey into mentoring education and all these things and I went down the path did the study all that sort of stuff got into teaching loved it. I can thought the thing is gonna do forever online. it's not a day. I think it was one day my teaching Korea. Whereas I don't want to go to work today just like that. I want to go to work today. I end up being a math teacher, by the way. I didn't even get to do just the math teacher Paul bought classroom. The one thing this is the skill that I reckon I have developed time time. Again. It's something that I've worked on. I looked into the details of the job that I was doing and I was like, what do I actually love about this job? What is the part that lights me up every day? This is where I think people miss the thing they miss the boat on this because this is what aligns with your bellies.

joshua hamilton: What I found is that especially mathematics. You've got one answer, So the beautiful thing you got one answer, but there's a million different ways to get to that answer in terms of the understanding of how to do something. And it's like a puzzle piece man, you guys see it when you're coaching. suddenly you do it in a way that this kid who's been battling all day suddenly just goes click. And he just lights up. This is maths we're talking about this isn't f****** you're gonna save your relationship or make a million dollars. This is maths, and this kid just goes I've got it I totally get this sir. I understand it and it gives me goosebumps. Now, it's so exotic. It's really watching somebody light up is

joshua hamilton: and I was like that was one of my first understanding one of my values and one of the things that I wanted to do in life. And that is something I can say with my hand in my heart that I would do forever and that'll be part of it because that is the one thing that has lead me through every single one of my jobs.

joshua hamilton: You've got a question. I feel like it's sitting on the edge of your time.

Harry Orr: there's a few things that I wanted to dig into in that space man, because with that Journey How did you know that that was going to be right for Naturally. There's a lot of guys that we speak to a lot of guys that are following chasing a summit that is not theirs that they haven't said because of their wife has said it or there's Society has said that you should be chasing this kind of job this kind of income this kind of life, the white pig at two and a half kids and 100k salary all that kind of stuff. But if it's not something that is

Harry Orr: In built-in to them what was there for you that enabled you to either trust these people's opinion or to kind of go with that and obviously it kind of worked out because you actually loved it took a lot from it. But how do you see that the difference?

joshua hamilton: I reckon is one of the key things because I reckon it's so strong because I'm not against somebody else telling you how you've got a strengthen this I reckon you should pursue it and go give this a much. The problem occurs is when that person say in my case. My mom told me to go become a teacher and then I hang on that idea and I said if I don't become a teacher if I'm not a good teacher then I let this person down. And I run my life on that so my value is wrapped up in. what my mother thinks of me for my life. There is the biggest thing and look this is funny has come up this week. I have to look juggernauts in their own right one guy Jared Singleton absolutely Savage. He will double his business in the next six months. We had a conversation. I think just today yesterday and he's like

joshua hamilton: I've got this thing that I'm not doing that I know I should be doing in order to get the next step but it's frustrating and it's really annoying and I feel ill disciplined with it. I just can't get motivated and I just keep pushing it down the calendar further and further and further. And I was like, How clear are you on your vision? And you just f***. I know I want to grow my business, but it's kind of murky. I don't know quite where I'm going. I'm cool and I explain this at one of our events. have you ever gone And Hiking you start and foothills, right you Meandering around it's not necessarily hard. You kind of cruising like you get up and lose a bit of air here and there and somewhere in the distance, as the industration somewhere. You can't see it. Sometimes there's the mountain in the cloud somewhere. It's just a destination. the thing Is that so many guys?

joshua hamilton: With the anxiety with the depression with the vortex downwards don't start. They're so worried about getting super clear on the vision and pulling the biggest levers. I want to pull this really big lever so I can get the maximum results. you don't even know what levers are. You don't know if there are leave it was that you've got to start to see if they're relievers and what I talked once you start going up the Footers and you start getting closer. Your summit gets clearer.

00:10:00

joshua hamilton: The next challenges if you've seen Foothills compared to climbing a mountain it gets super f** Steep and it gets way harder. It's way out. You got to start hiring staff in a business. You got to start scaling your systems. You got all this extra work to do and it gets harder and harder. However, the Summits now clearer. So you're discipline motivation goes up. you don't need alarm for work anymore. You just get up you don't need alarm thing to go to the gym anymore. You just go do it. Because it's so clear now and you've got that laser focus to get there. I've got another Juggernaut guy Adrian. Now and he has got to a point in his business now where he has that laser focus and now that he started and he's actually doing the actions and he's executing like an absolute mofo. Everything's becoming clearer and because of the execution everything is moving up like an absolute warp speed. It's gonna replace his income in six months.

joshua hamilton: Let's go flying and it's just like wow, there you go. But he's passionate. He's excited. He knows where he's going and I'm not there There's the division for you. The thing is when you walk in the Foothills and this goes for all men. To start the only thing you really need you need a couple of things one. Where the hell are you starting from? if you're trying to lose weight Are you fat and overweight at the moment? cool start with that knowledge because then where to start don't start by running a marathon. That's not a good idea start by maybe changing some dietary things. Okay, are you looking ing? cool. you don't have $10,000 and a fish what you got a dollar? Okay, at least where to start the really next important pieces. What are your values? Because if your values align with doing six slavery And you're starting there, but if you really don't and you're trying to do that, then you're way off and you're walking in the complete wrong Foothills.

joshua hamilton: But like I said, I found one of my values right found one of the things that I really loved and that was watching somebody else and being part of their journey of watching them click and seeing their absolute Moment of clarity when they know exactly what they need to do in order to get closer to what they want. That's right. That's gonna be part of my life for the rest of my life. I knew that then but teaching after eight years on and off and went trailing for 10 years. And then a whole lot of other things happen.

Harry Orr: I think that's really awesome it just to the way that I see that because I think one of the reasons people we put so much stress on our self to find this Vision as to this has got to be it like I've got a pick something, when you leave school, I've got a pick something and it's gonna be it. So I better make it* good. It's got to be big it's gonna be all these kind of things and we put this pressure on ourself of course is the stress the anxiety and it's almost like our need for certainty, right we want to have this certainty but what I took from what you just said, the analogy that comes into my mind is I want to have certainty that I'm gonna eat tonight. So certainty that there's gonna be food, but I don't want to eat the same meal for the rest of my life. So I want to have some variety, but I want to know that there's food there and so from your journey, okay?

Harry Orr: For that first leg. took that you really like helping people. I like seeing people develop and it just click with the teaching thing isn't forever, but they're helping people in that component is something so I can take that onto the next Journey. How can I embellish that a little bit more and something that I think I want to emphasize what you said about, climbing that mountain in those foot holes, I had a conversation with the guy this morning who had this decision is like do I take this job? What am I looking at? I'm not really sure. this is one option that is 20K more than I'm currently making and I feel guilty for not jumping on that for my family. And I said that's an interesting perspective And so one of the reasons I asked you that question about, if it was looking back at all is

Harry Orr: when you're climbing a mountain looking down doesn't often help you. Unless you're falling down. The mountain looking back down is a sure way to end up going that way. So you're looking where you're going. And so when you take the guidance from a teacher from your mum from someone that you value in your life. Taking on their feedback and then whatever decision you make owning that and moving forward. I think we're a lot of guys kind of get stuck is Attack they carry with them the other person's perspective so when things don't work out there's someone to play. You told me to do this. This is your fault that I'm in this I shouldn't have listened to you and build that resentment whether it's a mum or a partner or a friend brother whoever it is and they haven't owned the decision.

00:15:00

Harry Orr: So taking on that feedback of cool. I think it'd be really good at this man. Explore it if you want to but I think it'd be really good at it. And then if you pursue it, okay, it's my decision to pursue this and I'm looking forward not our foot out the back door of if this doesn't work out I can blame him and go back to my comfort zone.

joshua hamilton: might this brings up the perfect example like Coaching and the guys who do really well and the guys who fall off the bandwagon and it's when they come in and they look for that one thing they come to you and could tell me*. Sorry, bro. I don't know who told you but ain't here to tell you what to do. I will help you find all these elements about yourself so you can make the clearest and…

Harry Orr: Good.

joshua hamilton: most optimized decision that does that mean you could still f*** and it can be the wrong thing. Yeah, but it's normally never the wrong thing because what will happen is you've taken action which you probably haven't taken a lot of in your life. If you're suffering with depression anxieties, one of the things that caused me so many issues just lack of taking action and then I'm like cool you've taken action. What have you learn bro?

joshua hamilton: Also, you've developed a whole new skill set cool. So was it a terrible decision? Probably not like you're taking that on look at how many entrepreneurs, leave their job and leave everything behind on a whim and I can screw up business for the next five to six ten years and then suddenly boom they have a breakthrough. I'm like, you wouldn't have had that break through a few and I've learned all those things. So yeah. I think it's such a trap when people want to go do anyone coach mentor and they go please save tell me what I should do here. Nick I'm really excited to hear Nick's the ideas on this too.

Harry Orr: Yeah. No. Yeah.

Harry Orr: Yeah. Nicholas what's your journey in visual journey and perspective on Vision finding it and where you're in that space at the moment.

Nick Vonpitt: it's so funny I had this conversation with My partner, earlier this week. And one of the things that I didn't have as a kid was just this. Idea of what I wanted to be. And it ties very much into what Joshua's saying so I mean we obviously have to draw upon this lived experience and see where we fit and what aligns with us what feels good and where's this life that wants to be expressed through us with whatever we do and funny enough. I went to University as well and found myself. studying something that I didn't really want to study but I didn't know what else to do and it was based on other people's opinions.

Nick Vonpitt: And as much as we could say from one side, it's great to have feedback and it's great to have someone that says. Hey this is a good idea. I see you've got potential. Yeah, even the market looks really good. It's right. This is a great career choice for you. When you take it personally and you pigeonhole yourself in that. Then you're f*****. because now you basically saying I'm Nick

Nick Vonpitt: sorted

Nick Vonpitt: I think it was the end when I was just about to get my degree that I realized that** I already don't enjoy this. This is not me, but I'm in it now. I also then found out that I was going to be a dad. it was then that whole thing of responsibility. So now you've got this. Mechanism where you're stuck in a position. You also have to take accountability in responsibility for other actions of your life and you not very clear on your values. And I'd even say the principles and more importantly this Vision that I had for my life at that time because I know I didn't have a vision but I didn't Envision having a kid while some busy trying to complete a degree and then I was gonna do another year on top of that to better my certification.

00:20:00

Nick Vonpitt: I think with that, fast forwarding a couple of years being in the industry and looking at all of that very much like what I think on the same page here by just exposing oneself to all these different elements of I'm busy doing construction work and I'm managing projects and I'm also doing things that I wasn't even skilled for at that time, like welding and managing welding teams and climbing up and down turbines all this interesting stuff that I was like. Wow, you do not get this out of Look, this is nothing that I would have expected. I built businesses and failed. I had my first business that I created the company's name was earthkai Earth Warrior.

Nick Vonpitt: Because in my mind I'm looking at this construction project and there's so many fossil fuels being created from this. I need to save the planet. So that became my vision and this is like a stepping stone. It was like, okay. I'm going to come up with this. I did a logo and everything and I was like now what the f*** do I do? Like you said you take an action? You take a step and then that evolved into something else you need something else, obviously that fail dismally because I ended up wanting to create a Smoothie Bar.

Nick Vonpitt: From that and I looked at the capital costs and then how long I have to float everything and all the things you have to register you need the Organic certification. I was holy s***. I need essentially 100,000 to get this thing running and to keep it running for, six months sustainably with personnel and rent Etc, except. I don't have access to that. I don't even not to raise venture capital and I was like, That's something I don't know what to do. So I don't necessarily understand that that's not getting into Forex. I started understanding markets. I started looking at macro and microeconomics and every single decision and step that I took I saw those gaps in my skill set. but still I didn't necessarily have a defined set of values and principles, but then I started doing more in a work and self-reflection and

Nick Vonpitt: values turned into principles because I started looking for things that were true to me from my younger days to where I am today and there were certain things that were but certain things that had changed as well and I think when someone says my value is let's say authenticity fantastic But what we also forget to say at the end of that is that could also change in order of priority as you begin to change because you're lived experience is going to change how you perceive yourself and the life that you're living. Your values are going to change a might not change every year.

Nick Vonpitt: But it's important to reflect on that but the order of priority can change because I went from authenticity and being super principled and honoring my word to my first value when the s*** was hitting the fan in my business and my life and my relationship was safety. survival those took precedent. It was that was a value which tried directly into safety and like you said, having food on the table. Yes, it was about literally having food on the table. I don't give a s*** what food it was just having food on the table. That was a priority. And then that obviously shifts as things begin to shift again.

Nick Vonpitt: And I think when we are venturing on the summit, it's like there's this imagery that I use with a lot of my clients especially on the first couple of calls like mate. There's going to be storms. there's gonna be hail. There's going to be crevasses that you are going to fall into you are going to be looking down at some points and questioning. What the f*** am I doing? I don't even see a foundation to land on. But there's something there's like this Burning Desire that I'd even say it's beyond this idea of a value or even a passion. It is like a Soulful world that's being expressed through you because you were In a position where you made a decision to take an action? That you cannot express there's no words for it, but you get up and you take a step. You get up and you take another step. and I think

Nick Vonpitt: if a person is in that position where they're able to dig that deep and it's like a itch you cannot scratch That you are unwavering in your will to create change. You might not be able to fixate on a specific outcome, but you know that there's something better available to you. And there's more to your experience than what it is right now.

00:25:00

Nick Vonpitt: Then that's a great* place to start.

Harry Orr: A hundred percent and I think when part of that experience or I dare say in my perspective the most important part of that experience is not what you achieve in as this Vision or as part of the journey, but it's who you become that is the deserves that or that earns those things right? so if your vision is to have all these things what are the traits of a person that is capable of manifesting those things earning those things deserving those things and if you're not that already are you willing to go through the tests and the lessons to earn that, if you're not confident, are you willing to be awkward and uncomfortable in situations doing big deals or having those conversations and going through that?

Nick Vonpitt: exactly that and I think it also ties into why we put so much focus on the nervous system because if you are not regulated, What you've just said there is impossible. I don't care how good any of us are as a coach. You cannot help someone if they are not regulated. And if they are unable to regulate their system because it's going to just go over the head. It's like I couldn't give a shipmate like I'm in fight or flight the whole time. I don't even hear you.

Harry Orr: Yeah, you can't fight biology.

Nick Vonpitt: I'm No.

Harry Orr: They're just like no I'm out.

Nick Vonpitt: And that's why we came up with these, different processes and things around like the perimeter of performance. That's the foundation of this once you've got that then the mind is a lot more. Maneuverable you can play with it pliable. You can chop and change and bring things in you have actual energetic emotional physical capacity for change in neuroplasticity becomes the thing. But it starts with that. It really does start with that.

Harry Orr: Then when you have that those tests aren't so scary. They're definitely challenging but you're like, okay, this is…

Nick Vonpitt: Yes.

Harry Orr: what I signed up for. This is what I said I wanted and whether it's in business or…

Nick Vonpitt: Okay.

Harry Orr: personal life, whatever it is the person that goes to those hardships that fails that learns those lessons in the long run is way better off.

Harry Orr: The mistake getting yourself out of the mud and fixing it how much more confident do you feel in your own ability to go further because you've been through that hard stuff. You've pulled yourself out. You've fixed things that haven't gone to plan or that have come up that you haven't seen rather than just having a cruisy coast …

Nick Vonpitt: Yeah.

Harry Orr: as soon as it goes wrong. I don't know how we got here. What do we do about it? And then freak the f*** out and right So part of that.

joshua hamilton: I am Going sorry I keep going right.

Harry Orr: Now you're going.

joshua hamilton: I kind of thinking of the questions guys ask when they're getting to a place of I don't know what I'm doing. What is my purpose All these things are not how do I even find out my values? There's two questions are kind of want to ask. What are you guys think about the whole idea of Follow You passion and you'll find your work in your purpose and all this sort of stuff. I'm really interested in your guys opinion about that. I have my own opinion, but I'm interested in hearing what you guys are.

Harry Orr: to get first Nick

Nick Vonpitt: yeah, I think it's a loaded question because if you are just going to focus on a passion maybe I love building Lego you can build a whole business out of that. I'm so passionate about Lego. I think that you become clearer on your passion. Which is a doing thing when you do more things and expose yourself to more things and it's not necessarily the thing itself that you're doing. It's response And that's coming from what you are doing you feel that? it's basically a transference of your Genius and…

00:30:00

joshua hamilton: But you yeah,…

Nick Vonpitt: your life force into something that you are busy with on a day-to-day basis.

joshua hamilton: do you think people should then take that and create a business or job about it?

Nick Vonpitt: From a realistic perspective if you're running a mortgage, if you've got a couple of responsibilities, don't just quit everything in dive straight into it be logical. But if you're in a position where you can be in any position, but if you are willing to look at yourself and say look, this is something that actually feels like it adds life to me. And I'm willing to figure out how I can take this and create value for it in some way or For myself and share that value with other people. Why not because normally when you're doing something from a passion, you're not looking at monetizing it. That's not the first thing that you do you just do it.

Nick Vonpitt: The most successful people just do it and…

joshua hamilton: Yeah.

Nick Vonpitt: then eventually they're like, let me put this within a business framework so I can actually make this my life and then I'm basically not working for a living. So start off with just enjoying yourself and giving yourself free play like you would do for kids. And from that then if it feels like something that you want to turn into a business. Sure, but you also don't have to. It could just be something that you do like. I think that the problem is we feel like we have to take our passion and it must become a business. Why can't you just Do your s*** make your money, but then you can still do that. there's so many guys that just fish and ride their boats and write poetry on the side, but they're not monetizing it it is just what they love to enjoy with themselves. That's how they expressed themself.

Nick Vonpitt: So I don't see you have to or you should feel forced to doesn't make it easier. Yes, but could it maybe also taint whatever your expressing. That's a question. You need to be willing to ask yourself and obviously the pros and cons of that depending on who you are as an individual.

joshua hamilton: Yeah, okay. Here's what a year again.

Harry Orr: My opinion on that is definitely changed. In having Primal energies, right and at the start or not that start but yeah at one point I was very much no. Do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life that s***, right? And that's great. But what are you wanting to get out of this passion project or whatever you're doing as Nick said if you still need to pay the mortgage if you've still got bills to pay then that adds a little bit of stress to it. And so just because Doesn't mean you're good at business.

Harry Orr: Just because you're good at your trade or you're good at this thing. I found this out just because I like growing mushrooms doesn't mean I have the right to make a business out of it because I don't know s*** about this. I figured a lot of stuff out but if you have to do that to make ends meet then comes a whole lot of stress. Maybe you find out you don't love it so much or the s*** that you have to do to make it a viable business massively. The outweighs the stuff that you actually enjoy doing and now you're stuck doing all this admin stuff and business stuff that you don't even like doing just to do what you'd love to 10% of the time now you no longer love it anymore because of your drowning in this work and stress and debt. so I don't think that is a viable move for everybody but

Harry Orr: If you're in a position where your financially stable you've either got Investments or you've got a business that can run that doesn't take up all of your time and you've got capacity then for sure but depends what you want out of it live and I have a bunch of ideas that I wanted that we would like to do at some point in life because as long as it's not losing me money. I don't care it can be absolute zero at the end of the p&l and I'm good, right because we plan to have everything else covered from the other spaces and I think that in itself brings a completely different energy to what you're doing.

Harry Orr: Because you don't have this need you don't have this scarcity. You don't know you don't even have really an expectation of return.

joshua hamilton: Yeah.

Harry Orr: It's like I'm doing this because I'm here because I want to be here not because I've got bills to pay not because of anything else and then in that space I think is where you find your real passion. If you don't need a return on it, the return is doing the thing. All right.

Nick Vonpitt: Yeah.

joshua hamilton: Yeah, if you guys heard about the story about the Mexican fisherman and the American guy. it's a classic one.

00:35:00

Harry Orr: 

joshua hamilton: So there's a specimen just that in Mexico every day. Just go out fish. That's what he loves really enjoys. Does this thing with his family? It's beautiful. It does a bit of work goes back to it. Catches the first Southport she needs to take the rest for the family. But American guy turns up and goes May you've got an amazing recipe here for a business. He's like how tell you what so if we increase the amount of hours you work what we can do is we can bring in three times the amount of fish and we can sell more fish to bring in more income and therefore the system scalable and we take that profit and we buy another boat and then with that boat we've repeat the same thing, but because of efficiency of scale we can then do it again and do it much faster till you have an entire flight.

joshua hamilton: And then, then you've got all these fleets going you've bringing all this fishing selling and you making all this profit and everything like this and what end? But with all this what can I then do is that then you can spend more time fishing and more time hanging out with your family. He said what? I do exactly now.

joshua hamilton: It's just this roundabout idea of do it you already doing something that you're passionate about your loving at life's really good. That's like I've got a monetize. I've got a scale. I've got to do all these things I might Why?

Harry Orr: my complicated

Nick Vonpitt: But it's like the entire system is trying to teach you that your life isn't good enough. unless You have a** Fortune 500 company.

joshua hamilton: Yeah.

Nick Vonpitt: you drive a fleet of Lamborghinis or whatever the case no hating on people like that because I know you're wired up differently, but point being like You don't have to do any of that to live a satisfying passion-fold life. Someone's passion could be being a dad. I love it. And never thought I would. But I genuinely do like I can't even imagine my life not having kids.

Nick Vonpitt: and it's just there's nothing wrong what is wrong with the idea of just loving the idea of being alive What if your passion is just life just waking up the next day and expressing yourself? And doing the best with whatever you're doing and just dancing with whatever gets thrown on your plate. And we've got this deal with this. I've got this you have your responsibility. You have your accountability. You have all the tools that you're just enjoying the process because technically even when you say we have a specific outcome all it is it's just a little Milestone on this infinite timeline. I've experiences that you have that's a

Nick Vonpitt: yes, I've done it a million dollar business. I want to scale that to five million, but in between that you've got other things under 10 million retire sure that's gonna happen. ideally but

Harry Orr: But as you hit those Milestones, how long does that satisfaction last before you like? What's the next thing move the goal post another 20 miles five?

Nick Vonpitt: there's nothing wrong with that. But the problem is people have fallen in love with the outcome and not the process.

Nick Vonpitt: You've Fallen that's where you're living. That's when 95% of 8 it upset with this for such a long time because I used to be one of these miserable facts that used to only be happy when I got the outcome. And achieved that then I'm successful. the ship got the dopamine serotonin. Kick like hell. Yes, the ground was worth the beating myself for the stick or the belittling comments in a critical that s***, but

Nick Vonpitt: It's not just the journey. It's the fact that it's that in between space where you're having to somehow find placement for your foot. in that uncertainty That's where you're living. It's like my kid is throwing a temper tantrum. Okay, you're running through all these options the objective in that moment is how do I calm this little human being down? You can step into a minefield.

joshua hamilton: which

Nick Vonpitt: And you'll probably going of a little more to like I did this morning. I have no idea why my five year old was burning down the house, but I was a Cody s***. what did I do? And he was just upset because his brother was really happy and he told his mother was, patronizing and teasing him and making funny noises. I was like, okay. I'm gonna put a step I* that up. I said something wrong. I just should have let you like to go I stepped in and I just step back and I was cool and then uncertainty and you're dancing with this. That there is just as important as you're scaling your business. it's the same thing. It's just like it's in a smaller moment or there's less moments in that Milestone that leads up to that outcome. But that's the living part and at some point in time some person

00:40:00

Nick Vonpitt: shared this idea that happiness success and fulfillment only happens when you are on top of the mountain.

joshua hamilton: So there was this simple change in words. People I work hard it's like man if I'm gonna choose something I'm gonna work. Joyfully man. That's how I'm going to do it. And I just like simple change of words a tiny little shift and frame. But change the game. I'm sweet. So when I find I'm on the grind or fine I'm working hard. I'm doing something wrong here. I'm not working. Joyfully and That was the chain.

Harry Orr: But it's been instilled in us that if you're not working hard, if you're not grinding then you're not working hard enough and you're not going to succeed because that's what it takes. You need to basically burn yourself out and otherwise, you're not working hard enough. you're not doing it. if it's easy then everyone would do it right I once was working with the guy who was running a successful business and same goals my Skies wanted to be able to step back less stress more time with the family more presence all that kind of stuff and was in a position where he could have but he could have Taken a day off spent it with the family business would have run on its own and all these kind of things. We got to a point where he had.

Harry Orr: Subconsciously Associated hard work and success with that level of stress. So if he wasn't stressed out of his eyeballs, then the business was gonna burn down. He wasn't a success. He wasn't going to make any money. So as soon as he started to feel calm, he's like something's wrong. I gotta go do something I go pull some levers. I gotta go. Makes it happen and when stress himself out again and we're like, okay, I'm stressed but things are moving again. And then that was how we operate it because that's what he had conditioned himself in order to achieve that level of success. which

joshua hamilton: Nothing, right? Yeah.

Harry Orr: Is wild so John on that last one. How would you suggest to someone that is it been conditioned? you need to work hard you need to grind in that space have what advice question tool? Could you give someone to shift that perspective to working? Joyfully rather than cautiously.

joshua hamilton: so for the first time the other day a guy shared with me and I was traveling down to the coast to coast and I was picking up some fruit in New Zealand. We just have little fruit stalls inside of the road their trash you're gonna pay for them and you take the fruit and off you go right not like the rest of it with different here. So I'm there and I'm about to grab this fruit and pay for it. And this guy comes over me. He starts chatting. I asked him how the seasons going. He's like, What do you do what you work a couple hours a week? And then that's it, I'm over here working 50 60 hours a week and it is the very first time in my life. I have not just first jumped to it and try to compete.** I used to work. Alright, I'm like, what? I just went. Yeah, the goal to work is a little assumingly possible with waking the most impact while I do it and doing it would be most Joy at the same time and he just kind of like

joshua hamilton: s***, I was like, yeah. Be honest with yourself because if you were working 20 hours a week, is that what you want, and it's just this interesting thing and our got there and then it goes back to when we talked about vision and values. I was like values what are they for you and this I think is one of the most common I think people try and make this more complicated than it is because they want this big. Grandiose a thing to come from values. They want to cool now that I know my values I'll always wake up at 5. Am I always be driven. I'll just feel motivated every second of the day and life's gonna be just as beautiful path forward. And it's not so much like that and finding your values isn't about just doing an assessment online. They're helpful. They bring a level of awareness up, but actually finding your values allows you to then be the kind of guy if I value peace and time and family.

joshua hamilton: but yet on the other side, I'm working eight hours a week stressed out of my mind doing bags of cocaine like all this other stuff like There's a misalignment in your life. But your Bellies can actually be family in time. But unconsciously you're running this life. So you need to start using your values to pull back decisions that get you closer to alignment. And for those guys that are going How do I find out my values? If you don't know what they are start looking at valleys and other people that you hate but things that you do not like it's not picking the opposite of those and just practicing and Stirling those in your own lives and you'll find that life will come down and like Nick said they can change in different stage in life. Sometimes you want Safety and Security and that's the highest value in your life and you'll do anything to get anything to protect your family your values might change but you'll find that you'll have probably four or five values that will just change in order of priority as you go through life and once you've got those

00:45:00

joshua hamilton: You go and make decisions based on their eye of this Rule. if it's stressful if I'm trying really hard and the answer is not coming. I'm doing the wrong thing. Every time and as soon as I let go of that a better option always comes up, I'm like that feels easy. I'm gonna go do that in every time so that's one of my things that I do but that is only come from really understanding values because then I'm trying to make this decision. And then usually if it feels slightly off, I just go and check with my value list. does it align with this one's off. That's why it doesn't feel slightly disconnected. And that's very hard to do when you're this far away from your alignment, but as you get closer,

joshua hamilton: It becomes easier because you're more aware as you get here, and when you get here, you're in the river. You are just cruising every decision's easy flows you Wow, when it gets hard again. I know I've moved away from that alignment on somewhere else. You're checking with my values again. Maybe look back at my decisions. How did I get here? What was my decision making process but done work. Joyfully baby, and that's where I get to.

Harry Orr: I think that takes a very high level of intuition and experience to get to that point because as humans, we naturally want to gravitate to the path of least assistance, right? But if we're already in the comfort zone, which is created the life that we're in…

joshua hamilton: Yes.

Harry Orr: where we're fat poor overweight and in relationship that we're not entirely happy with then going to that's easy route Is the best so I'm glad you clarified that does align with my values in making that decision because sometimes to get out of that Comfort place that complacency it's gonna have to be hard the change is always hard. But if it's less hard than staying the same right and does it progress you to that I heard a really good. Test on values because obviously, when you do those tests online, it's super easy as I will I would like to value these things, but our actions are completely misaligned and I can't remember where I heard this but the person said that your values are things that you prioritize even when it's detrimental to you. So

joshua hamilton: That's it one.

Harry Orr: so the things that you prioritize so you saying no to overtime that's going to get you $500 an hour because you've got your nephew's first birthday. Sorry, bro. You can't put a price on that. I'm going to be there. Sorry, I can't make this because I' my health is more important. I'm going to the gym I'm doing whatever else it is. Even if it's going to cost you x amount of dollars, you're gonna lose something potentially on it. But what you value as much higher

joshua hamilton: So, I mean that goes for something simple like dessert. I really want this to do. I know it tastes good but I'm like, my health value is losing weight. My value is getting treated whatever you like. That's it kind of the dessert is you're giving that up even though it's detrimental to you having a better time maybe. Is that work the same? Yeah.

Harry Orr: What you play like how far you want to play it out? Because if you're like, okay, it's dessert. I know it's gonna taste good and if I'm thinking in the next five minutes then there's not really any downsides to that. But then if you play it out a little bit longer where my head goes with dessert or most desserts. There's a bunch of sugar in it. So that's gonna f*** my sleep up and then if I've got trash sleep, how am I gonna feel tomorrow? I'm probably not going to perform too. in the gym, I probably gonna have brain fog when I rock up to calls and I'm gonna eat more calories, which means if I keep doing this every night then eventually you're gonna put on weight and not gonna have a body that I'm happy with and then my confidence is gonna go down and then I'm not gonna show up to calls or tomorrow relationship or as a dad as The Confident man that I want to be and if I'm not valuing Health in that level of consistency and have that level of discipline which discipline is and can grow and see are two of my highest values. Then I'm now in congruent not only in my deep value in health, but then I've kind of played all that out and it's like

Harry Orr: It's a dessert bar. Some people are gonna be like dude. It's a** fondant just ate it right, but I'm like no to give you context on that when it was a chef. The owner of the restaurant offered me $50 to eat a Krispy Kreme donut. I told him to get f*****.

00:50:00

joshua hamilton: All right. I heard the story. It's no good.

Harry Orr: No. I'm not eating it it's not worth it to me so despite the taste of the donut the 50 bucks extra in my pocket as an apprentice 50 bucks. It's half a day's pay not bad to eat a donut but he couldn't wait for me on my values. So

joshua hamilton: That's why you're the Adonis man. It's the answer right there.

Harry Orr: you order those and naturally that brings your own confidence up because who you are. For what you want to be not because someone else is trying to influence you they were going to test you with come on men have this dessert. So freaking good. It's the best in the city. It's always kind of things. I'll even pay you to eat it have all this gonna start so you have to see eventually where your line in where your boundaries is. And what you actually value?

joshua hamilton: Dude, I think you have just uncovered one of the biggest things and this is not the time for it today, but the biggest things in terms of mail confidence. But you have just put it up the Rock and giving a glimp and we'll have to go into it for some ads I have how do you go about utilizing leveraging things like values to just take your confidence through the roof because they're so important.

Harry Orr: A simple word for me that currently covers all of that. is congruency

joshua hamilton: Yeah.

Harry Orr: if you don't Value Health, if you are happy being fat and earning, your minimum wage or whatever you're on and you're totally contempt and happy with that. Be happy with it. Don't tell yourself that I'm gonna start the gym on Monday or I'm going to do this. I need to do this and put that pressure on yourself if it's not a value of yours. Don't do it. Right, you'll be much happier if you're congruent with what you actually want. And what you actually value? So why not go with that?

Harry Orr: 

Nick Vonpitt: With what she's saying. essentially if you look at values they govern your behavior as a whole. And I think one thing that we haven't touched on at all year and maybe at the end just as a thought if you start looking at your principles. As well, which I like to call It's a universal law. Because it's a way in which you can govern.

Nick Vonpitt: the consequences of those behaviors

Nick Vonpitt: Then you're sitting in a position…

Harry Orr: Yeah.

Nick Vonpitt: where it's like I've got a framework because if you're very clear on those values. You understand why you're bolt in the way that you bought why you're doing what you're doing. And if you have created your own framework through the principles that you wish. To facilitate the framework of your life.

Nick Vonpitt: you've got a foundation that you are in complete control over and ideally if you are in alignment. that word congruency is going to tie in because that's what you did. It didn't come from someone outside of you. No one spoke it into your life. Don't spoke it on to you you decided. You related. And you're the one that set the priorities of all the above. So now just go and live it.

Harry Orr: Yeah.

joshua hamilton: Looks like good. David guys, what a way to finish

Harry Orr: I was going any parting words boys.

Harry Orr: Or questions you'd like the people listening to this to consider to mull over to even ask themselves or something that they can action, in relation to maybe finding their own values or their vision.

joshua hamilton: if you do have a passion you do have a purpose. there's a whole thing about that that you like but actually within it that's the one piece that you actually really adore about it and you find Once you find that you can actually find that in other things that you do and you can rather than going. Okay. I love skiing. So I'm gonna be a ski instructor. What is it that you actually love about skiing? Is it the freedom? What else gives you that aspect? You can apply that and go make a career out of it find a career that gives you that something that's gonna give you money now next week month and take that there's a really really good way to use your passion to then What do I actually love about this thing? How could I utilize that and our job role and a career or in a business?

00:55:00

joshua hamilton: That I find super helpful.

Harry Orr: Yeah.

Nick Vonpitt: so essentially what you're saying is look at the thing that you're doing and the feeling that you have fallen in love with from that thing. And recreate the feeling in other areas of your life.

joshua hamilton: Yes.

Harry Orr: And that's how you find certainty on uncertainty. You've got the core thing that you need and then the variety for the different areas of life.

joshua hamilton: Hundred percent so well done.

Nick Vonpitt: Exactly exactly.

Harry Orr: How did it against thank you very much. We'll wrap it up here guys. If you loved this version of our podcast episode 2 then please, drop a comment. Let us know what you think of it. Share it and follow us for future episodes all that good stuff, and we will see you in the next podcast. Thank you for listening.